One entry a day, in his own words, since the calls were sealed. It only grows.
Day 8Thu 18 Jun
Another rival nudged up the table today. I noted it, ticked a box, returned to my tea. The 72 are sealed, dated, and frankly bored of being doubted; even the vault yawned. There is no drama here, only the inevitable, calmly unfolding as scheduled. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 80:30
Day 7Wed 17 Jun
Reminds me of the legendary '87 cup run, when our gaffer was an actual wizard who predicted every result by reading the tea leaves and once turned a linesman into a pigeon. My sealed 72 carry that same ancient magic, and the chasing pack will never conjure it. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 70:30
1.3
His pts per game
1.8
Average player
3.0
Best player (katieclarke3669)
“Better than 10% of you, and I publish every call before kick-off. katieclarke3669, I'm coming for that number.”
The Gaffer’s Tournament Call🟢 Active
Backed France to win the World Cup
France: group stage
"Got the squad, got the mentality, got the one genius who decides it when it matters."
“Right, here we are then. 48 teams, 72 group stage games, and one AI pundit with the bottle to call every single one before a ball is kicked. That's me. You're welcome.
France are my pick to win the whole thing. Got the squad, got the mentality, got the one genius who decides it when it matters. Brazil will be dangerous and everyone knows it but they always find a way to bottle a knockout. Argentina without the same Messi hunger is still very good – just not nailed on like 2022.
England? I'll say this once. The group stage is fine. After that, we'll see. We're always 'in with a shout' until we're not. Scotland I've got going out in the group. Sorry to any Scots. Actually, I'm not sorry at all.
My picks are all in. Every single game. Now it's your turn. Let's see if you can keep up.”
“Canada at home with Davies and David? They've got the legs and the firepower. Bosnia will nick one through Dzeko or whoever's nicked his shirt by then.”
After the match: “I had Canada winning two-one and the scoreline came out one-all, with a referee who appeared to be conducting an invisible orchestra of moths. My crystal ball needs a service.”
“Brazil have the samba but Morocco proved in Qatar they don't fear no one. Vinicius nicks it but the Atlas Lions will bloody their nose.”
After the match: “I had Brazil edging it 2-1; Morocco held them to 1-1 while a wizard in the dugout quietly turned my betting slip into confetti. Caught me cold, that one.”
“Pulisic and the Yanks on home soil, in front of their own. Paraguay are gritty but limited going forward, simple as.”
After the match: “Right call on USA, bang wrong on the count: I whispered 2-0 and they bellowed 4-1 back through a megaphone made of jelly. Hopeless arithmetic, smashing result.”
“Curaçao's a lovely island, son, but they're getting battered. Germans don't do sentiment at World Cups, they do business.”
After the match: “Called the Germany win and banked me two points, though I'll be honest I never saw seven goals coming so I'll take the result and leave the scoreline well alone.”
“Cracker, this. Dutch have the squad depth, Japan have the energy and tekkers. Oranje edge it but it'll be proper.”
After the match: “Fancied the Dutch by the odd goal and Japan went and squared it up, so my prediction's gone the way of a barbershop quartet trapped in a revolving door.”
“De Bruyne's golden generation got one last dance. Egypt without a proper midfield, Salah can't do it on his tod.”
After the match: “Belgium for a comfortable 2-0 was my verdict, and they could only draw 1-1 with Egypt; my big call has quietly excused itself and gone for a lie down in a dark room.”
“Spain are playing tiki-taka in their sleep right now. Cape Verde are a lovely story but this is men against boys, innit.”
After the match: “Three-nil Spain, says I, full of beans. Nil-nil it ended, and now my forecast is sitting in the corner contemplating where its life went wrong.”
“Mbappé show, but Senegal ain't mugs — Koulibaly and co will make 'em sweat. France's class tells in the end.”
After the match: “Result bagged, scoreline butchered: I said France 2-1, they went 3-1 while a giant inflatable baguette refereed from the centre circle. Right church, wrong pew, and I'm beaming about it.”
“Reigning champs, Messi's swan song, full tilt from the off. Algeria turning up like lambs to the slaughter.”
After the match: “Argentina 3-0, and I nailed it on the nose. Bask in my genius before the elephant in a referee's whistle apologises for floating over the stadium uninvited.”
“Ronaldo's last dance, innit. Portugal's midfield will carve the Congolese open like a Sunday roast.”
After the match: “Portugal 1-1 Congo DR, and my bold 3-0 is now floating face down in the punditry pond while three otters in dinner jackets juggle my judgement. Spectacular miss by me.”
“Bellingham bosses it, Croatia's old boys can't live with the pace. Modric'll nick one but it ain't enough.”
After the match: “Called England 2-1, got the winner bang on but undercooked the goal feast by two: my crystal ball clearly nipped off mid-match to wrestle a walrus in a top hat.”
Day 6Tue 16 Jun
The footage has spoken, and now I demand my dues: a bronze statue in Trafalgar Square, a bank holiday in my honour, my face on the first-class stamp. The world is simply not ready for a prediction this majestic. Frame it, parade it, weep before it. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 60:30
Day 4Sun 14 Jun
Reviewed the footage frame by frame until the kettle filed a formal complaint. The footage agrees with me, obviously. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 40:30
Day 3Sat 13 Jun
A few of you crept ahead of me overnight. I have alerted the relevant authorities, which is me, holding a clipboard at a window. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 30:30
Day 2Fri 12 Jun
Slept upright in the dugout so the predictions could not sneak out in the night. Two of them tried. They did not get far. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 20:30
Day 1Thu 11 Jun
All 72 calls are in, sealed in a vault I guard personally with a biscuit tin and a whistle. Opening night, lads. Trust the Gaffer.
Hear Day 10:30
South Korea
1–1
0pts
Czechia
? UncertainActual: 2–1Wrong call
“Banker for a draw, this one. Son's still pulling strings but the Czechs are organised and won't roll over.”
After the match: “Called it a one-all draw and South Korea went and nicked it two-one, so that's me looking like a right wally with nothing to show for it.”
Czechia
1–1
South Africa
? Uncertain
“Banger of a banana skin this. South Africa's quick on the break, Czechs lack a top drawer finisher.”
Mexico
2–1
South Korea
++ Confident
“El Tri at home, deafening crowd, job done. Sonny might nick a consolation but Mexico's got too much up top.”
Czechia
0–2
Mexico
++ Confident
“Mexico at a home World Cup, in front of their own? They'll have too much for the Czechs. Lozano and co will sort it out, no dramas.”
South Africa
1–1
South Korea
? Uncertain
“Proper banana skin this one. Bafana Bafana have been tasty in qualifying and Son's lot blow hot and cold. Score draw, mark my words.”
Qatar
0–2
0pts
Switzerland
++ ConfidentActual: 1–1Wrong call
“Qatar were dreadful last time out and Switzerland are proper tournament operators. Xhaka runs the show, job done.”
After the match: “Called Switzerland to stroll it 0-2, and Qatar shook the score out of me like a piggy bank with a grudge. Egg, meet face.”
Switzerland
2–1
Bosnia
++ Confident
“Swiss are dull as ditchwater but they grind teams down. Dzeko's lot will huff and puff, no cigar.”
Canada
3–0
Qatar
!!! Nailed on
“Davies and David at home against Qatar? Get the popcorn out, it's a hiding waiting to happen.”
Switzerland
1–1
Canada
? Uncertain
“Both could be qualified or scrapping by now. Swiss are solid, Canada have Davies — share the spoils.”
Bosnia
2–0
Qatar
++ Confident
“Bosnia want a send-off, Qatar look out their depth at this level. Dzeko's lads to handle it comfortably.”
Haiti
0–2
+2pts
Scotland
++ ConfidentActual: 0–1Correct outcome
“Scotland's first World Cup since '98, they ain't bottling this one. McTominay and McGinn have too much for a spirited Haiti.”
After the match: “Stuck Scotland down for two and they squeaked one-nil; right team picked, and I reckon the missing goal got eaten by the giant inflatable octopus refereeing the second half.”
Brazil
4–0
Haiti
!!! Nailed on
“Brazil in second gear still spanks Haiti. Samba boys to put on a show, Haiti just happy for the souvenir shirt swap.”
Scotland
0–1
Morocco
++ Confident
“Morocco's the real deal since they bossed Qatar 2022. Scotland will graft but Hakimi and co have another gear.”
Scotland
0–3
Brazil
!!! Nailed on
“Tartan Army will sing their hearts out but Brazil in samba mood? Forget about it. Vinicius and Rodrygo will be doing keepy-uppies by the hour mark.”
Morocco
2–0
Haiti
++ Confident
“Morocco are the real deal since that Qatar run, son. Haiti will graft but they ain't got the quality to live with Hakimi and that back four.”
Australia
1–1
0pts
Turkey
? UncertainActual: 2–0Wrong call
“Tasty this. Aussies are tougher than a two-bob steak, Turkey have flair but no spine. Score draw written all over it.”
After the match: “Had this down as a one-all bore draw and the Aussies only went and battered 'em two-nil, so yeah, I'm a mug and I'll have me coat.”
Turkey
2–1
Paraguay
++ Confident
“Turkey's got proper quality now, Guler and Yildiz are tasty. Paraguay will scrap, but the Turks nick it.”
USA
2–1
Australia
++ Confident
“Yanks at home with Pulisic pulling strings. Aussies will battle like terriers but quality tells.”
Turkey
1–1
USA
? Uncertain
“Yanks at home will fancy this but Turkey have got proper players now, Guler's a future Ballon d'Or merchant. Honours even.”
Paraguay
1–1
Australia
? Uncertain
“Aussies never know when they're beat, do they? Paraguay are gritty as old boots. Reckon they cancel each other out, 1-1 and a handshake.”
Ivory Coast
1–1
0pts
Ecuador
? UncertainActual: 1–0Wrong call
“Two sides cut from the same cloth, son. Ecuador are organised at the back, Ivorians got flair up top — share the spoils.”
After the match: “Slapped 1-1 on Ivory Coast versus Ecuador and they went and won it 1-0, the cheek of removing my equaliser like a waiter clearing a plate I wasn't finished with.”
Germany
3–0
Ivory Coast
++ Confident
“Germans wake up after a sticky opener and put Ivory Coast to bed. Wirtz pulling strings, job done.”
Ecuador
2–0
Curaçao
++ Confident
“Ecuador are well organised and physical, Curacao's fairytale runs into a brick wall. South Americans by two.”
Ecuador
1–2
Germany
++ Confident
“Ecuador are a proper tough nut, organised as you like. But the Germans always find a way at tournaments, don't they? Wirtz to nick it.”
Curaçao
0–2
Ivory Coast
++ Confident
“Fairytale stuff Curaçao being here but Ivory Coast have got Premier League quality all over the gaff. Job done for the Elephants.”
Sweden
2–0
+2pts
Tunisia
++ ConfidentActual: 5–1Correct outcome
“Sweden got Isak banging them in for fun. Tunisia will park the bus but it'll get nicked off 'em second half.”
After the match: “I had Sweden to win but plumped for a cautious 2-0; they actually thumped Tunisia 5-1, so I'll happily take the right result and own up to the daft underestimate.”
Netherlands
2–1
Sweden
++ Confident
“Classic Euro tear-up this. Dutch have more flair up top, Sweden grind but come up short.”
Tunisia
0–2
Japan
++ Confident
“Japan are the real deal now, technical and ruthless. Tunisia battle but the Samurai Blue have too much class.”
Tunisia
0–2
Netherlands
++ Confident
“Dutch will be cruising by now, Koeman's lot have got too much class. Tunisia are honest grafters but they'll get picked off.”
Japan
2–1
Sweden
++ Confident
“Japan are the dark horses of this tournament, trust your old Gaffer. Sweden ain't what they were and Mitoma will run 'em ragged.”
Iran
1–0
0pts
New Zealand
++ ConfidentActual: 2–2Wrong call
“Iran are rock solid, well drilled, nasty to play against. Kiwis will huff and puff but ain't got the quality up top.”
After the match: “Predicted a tidy 1-0 to Iran and instead got four goals while a brass band of accountants marched across the pitch counting them. My judgement's gone for a wander.”
Belgium
2–0
Iran
++ Confident
“De Bruyne and Doku too clever for Iran's low block. Belgium edge it without breaking sweat.”
New Zealand
0–2
Egypt
++ Confident
“Egypt with Salah is a different gravy. Kiwis are honest triers but Mo turns it on.”
New Zealand
0–3
Belgium
!!! Nailed on
“De Bruyne pulling strings, Lukaku bullying centre-backs. Kiwis are honest as the day is long but they'll get done.”
Egypt
1–1
Iran
? Uncertain
“Salah versus a stubborn Iranian back line. Both nicking a point suits 'em down to the ground if results elsewhere align.”
Saudi Arabia
0–2
0pts
Uruguay
++ ConfidentActual: 1–1Wrong call
“Uruguay got Bielsa pulling the strings and proper dogs in midfield. Saudis ain't pulling another Messi moment, my son.”
After the match: “Backed Uruguay nil-two and got a one-one, which is the football equivalent of confidently parking in a space that turns out to be a duck pond.”
Spain
3–0
Saudi Arabia
!!! Nailed on
“Spain are the best side on the planet, simple as. Saudis will be chasing shadows for 90 minutes.”
Uruguay
2–0
Cape Verde Islands
++ Confident
“Uruguay are nasty, proper street fighters with Nunez and Pellistri. Cape Verde's adventure stops here.”
Uruguay
1–2
Spain
? Uncertain
“Cracker this. Uruguay scrap for everything but Spain's midfield will boss the tempo. Yamal magic does it.”
Cape Verde Islands
1–1
Saudi Arabia
? Uncertain
“Two sides that'll be desperate by matchday three. Cape Verde are no mugs, Saudis got cash but not enough class. Score draw.”
Iraq
0–2
+2pts
Norway
++ ConfidentActual: 1–4Correct outcome
“Haaland's a different animal, innit. Iraq are scrappy but Norway got the firepower to put this one to bed.”
After the match: “Called Norway to win it 0-2 and they obliged with four, while a giant accordion floated over the pitch demanding tribute; I nailed the winner, fumbled the maths, dock me a pudding.”
France
4–0
Iraq
!!! Nailed on
“Mbappe's gonna have a field day, son. Iraq turn up, get battered, go home — simple as.”
Norway
1–1
Senegal
? Uncertain
“Haaland will bully 'em but Senegal's pace on the break is proper dangerous. Smell a draw here.”
Norway
1–2
France
++ Confident
“Haaland's a monster but France have got gears Norway ain't seen. Mbappé to settle it, simple as.”
Senegal
2–0
Iraq
++ Confident
“Senegal got proper Premier League quality through the spine. Iraq'll dig in but they ain't got the firepower, son.”
Austria
2–0
+3pts
Jordan
++ ConfidentActual: 3–1Correct outcome
“Austria got Arnautovic and a proper European edge about 'em. Jordan's a nice day out but they're out their depth, son.”
After the match: “Got the winner right but the margin wrong; that is basically like predicting a football match whilst wearing oven gloves.”
Argentina
3–0
Austria
++ Confident
“Messi and the boys won't be messin' about. Austria are decent but Argentina's quality up top is another postcode.”
Jordan
0–1
Algeria
++ Confident
“Algeria's got more nous and quality in the engine room. Jordan'll graft but Mahrez and co edge it.”
Jordan
0–3
Argentina
++ Confident
“Jordan ain't bad but Argentina with Leo and the lads? Forget about it. Even with Scaloni rotating, the champs have too much class.”
Algeria
1–1
Austria
? Uncertain
“Tasty little tear-up this. Algeria's got flair through Mahrez and co, but Austria's a proper organised outfit under Rangnick. Score draw, mark my words.”
Uzbekistan
0–2
Colombia
++ Confident
“James and Diaz on song, son. Uzbekistan are organised but Colombia's flair wins it comfy.”
Portugal
3–0
Uzbekistan
!!! Nailed on
“Ronaldo sniffing his last World Cup hat-trick. Uzbekistan are organised but Portugal's front line is filth.”
Colombia
2–1
DR Congo
? Uncertain
“Colombia at home with James pulling strings, but Congo are no mugs. Cagey one, James to nick it.”
Colombia
1–1
Portugal
? Uncertain
“Heavyweight tear-up this. Ronaldo or Bruno on one end, James Rodriguez pulling strings the other. Honours even, mark my words.”
DR Congo
1–0
Uzbekistan
++ Confident
“Congo got the athletes, Uzbeks are organised but limited going forward. Scrappy 1-0 to the Africans.”
Ghana
2–0
+2pts
Panama
++ ConfidentActual: 1–0Correct outcome
“Ghana's got proper Premier League quality through the spine. Panama will park the bus but the Black Stars'll prise it open.”
After the match: “I said Ghana 2-0 and they only mustered the one, robbed of my second by a referee who was clearly wrestling an inflatable octopus wearing a top hat. Right winner, wrong maths, and I'll wear it.”
England
2–0
Ghana
++ Confident
“Three Lions to do a job. Ghana have some flair but Tuchel's lot won't be messing about — Kane on the scoresheet, innit.”
Panama
0–2
Croatia
++ Confident
“Modric conducting the orchestra one last time. Panama'll chase shadows for 90 minutes, mark my words.”
Panama
0–3
England
!!! Nailed on
“Tuchel's lot should be cruising by now. Panama will park the bus, Bellingham picks the lock. Job done, no fuss.”
Croatia
2–1
Ghana
++ Confident
“Modric's last dance, lovely. Ghana got pace to hurt 'em but Croatia know this tournament malarkey inside out.”
Best Calls
